Dubious Song Lyrics #3 'Cecilia'

This jolly Simon and Garfunkel number is a fairly simple love song with a bizarre central premise. For some reason I always picture Art Garfunkel as the male protagonist: a lanky, giant of a man with a mop of curly hair. The song begins by reflecting on the issues in Art's relationship: 'Cecilia, you're breaking my heart, you're shaking my confidence daily' without actually going into detail. At this point, the listener could be forgiven for assuming the plot is straightforward, and that he's fallen victim to the usual sixties song lyric antagonist - a pesky, no good, cheating woman. To an extent you'd be right. But the sheer audacity of this particular woman must be applauded...

The second verse tells of better days for Art: 'Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia, Up in my bedroom' before things turn sour 'I got up to wash my face, When I come back to bed, Someone's taken my place.' 

Firstly, one can't help but wonder precisely what act Art was involved in, that meant his priority at the time was to 'wash his face'. If it was a reflection of Cecilia's personal hygiene, surely he could've been more discreet. But, more importantly, how the hell did Cecilia manage to get another bloke 'on board' in the time it took Art to scuttle to the bathroom and back. Even assuming their were no en suite facilities, it could only have been a matter of minutes. Did she have someone waiting in the wardrobe? Was it all an elaborate rotation system, and that Art was only one of many men? If so, his determination to wash his face might be more explainable.

Or, more to the point, was this other man known to Art - a diminutive, balding acoustic guitar player, perhaps? Troubled waters indeed.

In the season of good will, you'll be pleased to know that things worked out well for Art: 'Jubilation! She loves me again, I fall on the floor and I'm laughing'. It's also good to know that unlike his hateful, murderous contemporaries, Art has a laissez-faire attitude towards infidelity, perhaps deciding that given his gangly frame and pasty complexion, beggars can't be choosers.

Whatever the reason, he'll certainly think twice the next time he's tempted to wash his face.