Dubious Song Lyrics #4 'Rubber Soul'

Yes, I know 'Rubber Soul' is an album, but to my mind it's the most consistently dubious album of all time. I remember, even as a child, watching in amazement as Paul McCartney concluded the Beatles Anthology series by claiming that if you look back over The Beatles work, you'd find that all of their songs are about love and peace. 'Rubber Soul' must've been conveniently posted down the McCartney memory-hole, because it's a relentlessly, cynically and at times violently misogynistic record.

Disclaimer: if you disagree with any of the following interpretations, please feel free to comment, but I must warn you that I (mis)spent most of my childhood researching anything and everything to do with The Beatles, and I'm sure I'm not the only person to object to the Fab Four's chauvenism.

In true hack-journo fashion, I'll list each track along with my interpretations and moral obligations, below:

Drive My Car Shallow, vacuous woman cons a man into believing she's famous and talented. He falls for it and agrees to give her a lift. Grrr... damn those pesky women.

Norweigan Wood (This Bird Has Flown) A 'bird' flirts with the male protagonist, but refuses to have sex with him, forcing him to 'sleep in the bath'. Furious, our hero sets fire to her house. Fair Enough.

You Won't See Me Another pesky woman won't return Paul McCartney's calls. He's livid.

Nowhere Man Hooray! John takes a breather from the misogyny.

Think For Yourself Boo! George pipes-up with a fairly straightforward anti-women rant. Women tell lies, women believe lies. 'Think for yourself you skirt-wearing idiots!'

The Word There'd be none of these issues if we just said the word 'love'. Presumably in the context: 'You wouldn't put-out, so I've just burnt down your house, love.'

Michelle McCartney gives advice to Europhile men everywhere: you only need to learn eight words of French and their dolly-birds will fall at your feet.

What Goes On Argh! It's Ringo's song, usually the light hearted moment of whimsy on a Beatles LP, but even he's at it! This was Ringo's first ever songwriting credit in a Beatles song too, so it was actually his latent misogyny that inspired him to pick up a pen. 'It's so easy for a girl like you to lie.' Tell me about it, Ringo, they're all at it.

Girl 'She's the kind of girl who puts you down when friends are there, you feel a fool' - we'd have more sympathy for John if it wasn't for the fact that he's singing over the backing vocals 'tit tit tit tit tit'. I suggest this juxtaposes how the Beatles may have actually perceived women (belittling, devious swines) and what they actually want women for (they like their tits).

I'm Looking Through You Women are transparent. Surely the lads are running out of misogynistic metaphors by now?

In My Life A beautiful ballad, sullied only by the line 'In my life, I've loved them all', which could easily be the opening line of Jim Davidson's autobiography.

Wait Define yourself by your man - if he's away, wait for him. Don't bother getting on with your own life, it's over-rated. Darling.

If I Needed Someone 'Carve your number on my wall and maybe you will get a call from me', I'm not promising anything, though - maybe - okay? I know what you women are like.

Run For Your Life Sometimes a lyric can speak for itself. I wouldn't be surprised if Tom Jones collaborated on this murderous, paranoid, testosterone-fuelled piece of nonsense:

Well I'd rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
Or I won't know where I am
You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end'a little girl
Well you know that I'm a wicked guy
And I was born with a jealous mind
And I can't spend my whole life
Trying just to make you toe the line
You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end'a little girl
Let this be a sermon
I mean everything I've said
Baby, I'm determined
And I'd rather see you dead
You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end'a little girl
I'd rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
Or you won't know where I am


If after reading this you feel you want to get revenge for all of this women-hating, please don't bother, because just-desserts have already been dished out. Two words: Heather Mills.