These so-called 'other people' might be interested to learn that I have absolutely no problem with pretentiousness. In the strictest sense, isn't everything we do heavily steeped in pretension? The quality and style of coat we choose to wear in the morning, for instance, maintains the pretense that a) we care about the way we look and want others to know that we're in touch with current trends, or, b) we're not interested in fashion at all. Either way, an image is constructed, a conscious decision made, a pretense maintained.
Of course, in common usage, the word pretentious would usually only be reserved for the person in case a) - they want to look cool, modish, in vogue: this is often dismissed as pretentiousness. But isn't the person in case b) actually the contrary one, the cool arbiter of dissonance? Aren't they, arguably, the ones with more at stake in the pretension chess-game? They're the ones thinking two moves ahead: "Fashion's vapid, transitory nonsense..." they might say, implying that they've given the whole thing a lot more thought than those of us who simply grab whatever looks 'ok' on the racks at Topshop.
I've probably been both of these people at different times in my life. Both states of affairs have their benefits and drawbacks. Nowadays I'm pretty indifferent. The real reason I'm interested in the 'P word' is not because I want to establish who is and who isn't. Rather, I want to take on those people who use the contemptible term...
Children quickly develop (naturally, childish) ways of winning arguments. "You're it", "No, you're it times two", "Well you're it times infinity", "You're it times infinity plus one". "Bagsy I get the front seat of the car." You get the picture. We all grow out of these linguistic cul-de-sacs in our early teens. All of us, that is, except those who become seduced by the 'P word'.
To dismiss someone or something as pretentious is to impose a limit on life. It's a way of negatively categorising exuberance, playfulness and creativity. Of course, not all of us can be exuberant, playful and creative without occasionally making a tit of ourselves. But so what? Isn't that a good thing? If we really do have seventy odd years on earth before we become worm food, why the hell would we waste our time imposing limits on other people's energy? To brandish the word 'pretentious' is to paint yourself into a corner - it's a promise that you will never experiment, never flirt with mistakes, never dance with failure. It might help you to win an argument in a pub, but why spend your life winning arguments in pubs when you could be out there being pretentious?
If you're reading this, promise me you'll do something pretentious today. While you're doing that, I'll scour my U2 review for the P word.
(The P word is 2mins into this classic)
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